LOOOOOOOOOL

Kishimoto is trolling the fandom again. XD Though I feel bad for some of you flistpeoples.

(spoilers are on chuunin if you wish to witness them in all their trolly glory)

So. SO.

HELLSING!1!



So back when I first inquired about whether this series was worth a read, lykomancer regaled me with a list of things that are OMGSOAWESOME about Hellsing. The most memorable item on the list was: "a split personality katana-wielding berserker nun and her hermaphroditic/androgynous priest/nun assassin partner."

...

And, well, it's not that I straight-up didn't believe her, it's just that I kind of couldn't quite wrap my brain around such a thing actually existing in a story.

And then I got to the last chapter of volume 1.

( And my brain EXPLODED FROM AWESOME! )

Also, a few more random observations on Vol. 1, with illustrations:

( This series is like Vassalord, except with more plot and less porn )

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas étudier
Je veus seulment me reposer
Et puis je make a picspam

Er, yes, so this is a procrastinatory UMINEKO FANART SPAM! Because oh my stars, the Umineko fandom is fucking incredible when it comes to fanart. Just, guh. Spam is mostly Beatrice, Battler, and Beatrice/Battler. Probably contains some spoilers, but seeing as the whole cast gets killed off in every single arc, I wouldn't be fussed if I were you.

Oh and the next-to-last picture is somewhat Not Brain Safe due to gore.

( So wrong and yet so hot. )

I'm currently reading the Pauline Epistles. Here, have some meta:



*STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB*

Time for another sexyspam! Tonight's subject will be:

Boys With Long Hair!

( Not as obvious a choice as the first one, but still A+ )

A meme!

Provide four examples of some of your oldest icons
and four icons you've made within the last couple months.

Old:



New:

Hmm, I am in a sexy mood tonight. I think some sexy picspams are in order.

So let's see, what's sexy? Girls topping, for one. Girls topping is an A++ subject for a sexyspam!

Should probably note that the pics in this spam are mostly worksafe, with a couple of notable exceptions.

( Picspammy ode to girls who top! )

On the subject of Hellsing: In addition to starting the manga, I also watched some of the first ep of the OVA. It was kind of over-the-top (even compared to the manga!) but there was one thing in particular that made me squee. Go to 4:05 in this clip and listen to Alucard say his line about the silver bullets.



FDJHJFHDHGFJKDHJGFHJDKFHGJFHJFGHJFJFFGHFHGFJKDHFJKSGHJFFFFFFFF

THAT VOICE

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN

Crispin Freeman, you and Mamoru Miyano need to get together and make science-babies. As a public service. *nods*

I GOT TO THE END OF THE THIRD UMINEKO ARC!

ASDFKJSFDK

( Spoilers for Episode 18 )

I got this wonderful book out from the library called The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels. For the uninformed, the Gnostic Gospels are a collection of writings penned by a very early Christian sect, whose beliefs were radically different from our modern version of Christianity. These gospels were accidentally rediscovered in 1945 by an Egyptian peasant, after they spent 1600 years buried in the desert in an earthenware jar.

Anyway, I'm only just getting into the book, but I wanted to share three little quotes regarding gender:

1) First, this excerpt from a gnostic poem called "Thunder, Perfect Mind," in which a female narrator says:

I am the first and the last.
I am the honored one and the scorned one.
I am the whore, and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.
I am the mother and the daughter.
I am she whose wedding is great, and I have not taken a husband.
I am knowledge, and ignorance.
I am shameless; I am ashamed.
I am strength, and I am fear.
I am foolish, and I am wise.
I am godless, and I am one whose God is great.

So much love for this. *__*

2) Second, we'll hear from Tertullian, a 2nd-century Greek Christian who aligned with the orthodox way of thinking, that is to say, he was opposed to the Gnostics. Among other things, he objected to how the Gnostics included women in their religious rituals:

These heretical women – how audacious they are! They have no modesty; they are bold enough to teach, to engage in argument, to enact exorcisms, to undertake cures, and, it may be, even to baptize!

Awesome, eh? I mean, I know his intent was to condemn the Gnostic women, but all I hear is compliments! "These heretical women – how audacious they are..." What a fantastic turn of phrase that is. I want that on my tombstone, make a note.

3) And finally, I was overjoyed to read the writings of Clement of Alexandria, a 2nd-century founding father of the early Christian church, who despite aligning with the orthodox side, had quite an enlightened view of gender, similar to the Gnostics:

Men and women share equally in perfection and are to receive the same instruction and the same discipline. For the name "humanity" is common to both men and women; and for us "in Christ there is neither male nor female."

And then he made a list of all the women whose achievements he admired, which included Biblical heroines Judith and Esther, as well as philosophers like Arignote and Themisto. He then remarks:

What shall I say? Did not Theano the Pythagorean make such progress in philosophy that when a man, staring at her, said, "You arm is beautiful," she replied, "Yes, but it is not on public display."

SECOND CENTURY A.D., PEOPLE. *flail* omg Clement, if you weren't long dead, I'd shake your hand. <333

Umineko No Naku Koro Ni eps 15-17!

( Spoilers are pixellated for your viewing pleasure )

I've finally started reading Hellsing! And it's awesome, as expected. Though... goddammit Japan, stop making me ship weird twisted shit!

( A pictoral elaboration, from the second chapter )

In other news: Integra.

Just– just–– INTEGRA.

*_________________*

Umineko No Naku Koro Ni Episodes 13 and 14!

-Amensiac!Beato was... kind of creepy. But she and Rosa were cute together.

-RONOVEEEEEEEEEE :D

-The Seven Stakes are surprisingly adorable, considering that they're a gang of homicidal demonic lolis with the same penchant for BDSM as their mistress.

-Beatrice vs. Virgilia = ASLDKJFALSJFDKLFSDJKLFD

-Virgilia's pimp hat is A+.

-Battler: *is having a bad day* *as usual*
Beatrice: *CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE*
Ronove: Milady, your laugh lacks elegance.
Beatrice: Oh, sorry about that. *cackle cackle*

OHGODTHELULZ

-And now Virgilia is philosophizing about Schrodinger's Cat. And it actually makes sense. THIS SHOW IS SO TRIPPY.

There's a genderswap thread on the /u/ board right now.

Someone posted a Yu-Gi-Oh picture featuring, among others, girl!Kaiba.

The caption on the picture said "Screw the rules, I have massive tits!"

I love the internet. XD

asdkjsfdlf

Reason #2753 why LittleKuriboh is the king of lulz: He's started making a spoof of the Naruto Abridged series, which is like 10 times funnier than the original. For example:


Naruto: Why do all the girls like Sasuke so much? Maybe it’s his gorgeous eyes... or his full pouting lips... or his sexy emotionless voice... Come to think of it, why do I like Sasuke so much?! Bicurious no jutsu! *the NaruSasu kiss from Ep 3*

and

Iruka: Naruto, you’re paired with Sasuke and Sakura.
Naruto and Sakura: *jump up and cheer* Threesome no jutsu!


AND SO FORTH. XD

Okay, since I've been meaning to post on this for a while, and since melengro is probably bouncing off the walls with impatience,

Gaying up the Bible: Ruth/Naomi and David/Jonathan!

( First, the Book of Ruth )

( And also the dudes... )

In short, the Bible isn't gay very often, but when it is, it goes all-out.

Oh look, it's the Vol 1 DVD cover for the Umineko No Naku Koro Ni anime! And uh...



C-canon? *____* (This ship is so weird ghfdgjf)

So in spite of me not being able to stomach reading any more Berserk, I did really love the Rosine arc, mostly due to the adorable doomed chibi LesYay OTP of tragic fucked-up-ness and deconstructed fairy tales. So I feel the need to make a:

Jill/Rosine Picspam!

WARNING: Spam contains spoilers for the whole Rosine arc. Also, because of Rosine being a demon-fairy and never wearing any clothes, this whole spam is NSFW due to nudity.

( Because we came from the same cocoon... )

Okay so Episode 11 of Umineko made me laugh uncontrollably a LOT, which... I'm not sure whether or not that was the intended reaction! Seriously though, I was spoiled and everything, but this sort of thing has to be seen to be believed. It was one long parade of "WTF JAPAN" moments.

So have a picspam of all the things in this ep that made me nearly roll off the bed because I was lolling so much.

( Spoilers. Not brain safe. )

I'm up to Episode 10 of Umineko and uh...



Good lord, even the lolis on this show are ax-crazy sadists. WHO TRANSFORM INTO STAKES, WTF.

Also:



Oh Beato, your evil laugh and your trollfaces just get more and more epic.